What do we want?! Change! When do we want it?! NOW!! How do we get there?! WHO CARES!
There are a lot of people who want me to change. And there are a lot of people who want me to just shut up. And there are some who would like me to die-please-now. (These latter are the same people who believe that contributing money to the wrong cause should preclude a person from ever working again).
The “Die please” crowd want to bring about change by destroying anyone who does’t believe in that change. I suppose sometimes that’s what it takes, but I can’t really get behind anyone whose desired change is so repulsive that the only way they can get what they want is to destroy everyone else. But I try not to worry about these people. I suspect they’ll turn on one another before long and destroy themselves instead.
The “Shut up” crowd are also very special people. They’re not really interested in changing anyone’s opinions, either, so much as doing whatever it takes to keep their opposition from getting in the way of their getting what they want. They bully, shame, shriek, and otherwise intimidate people into just not showing up when it’s time to vote or act. They silence their opposition so that it appears there is no opposition.
Then there are people who are truly working to change minds and hearts. I may not always agree with these people, but I at least respect them. It may take them longer to accomplish their goals, but their work is generally more effective, and more permanent. When they bring about change, that change tends to last longer. But it is slower. It’s more difficult. It takes more effort.
So I can certainly understand the migration toward the other two methods, even if I cannot support it. The “Die please” crowd, if they don’t destroy themselves, will only succeed in creating an equal and opposite “Die please” crowd. Yes, it results in change, but it’s violent, destructive, and unpredictable change. It’s not the way to build anything useful and enduring. Nothing accomplished under threat can last–unless you can maintain the threat indefinitely.
The “Shut up” crowd may see initial success, but they tend to encourage sabotage. People who are intimidated into silence are not necessarily discouraged from action. They will find a way to undermine the cause secretly, exposing themselves to as little danger as possible. They may not openly oppose you, but they won’t support you, either. And you may realize all too late you needed their support.
On the other hand, I just spent a weekend with people seeking to encourage me to change. They did so out of love and concern. They related experience after experience of their own and others demonstrating the benefits of that change. They encouraged, even plead for me to change, but they didn’t attempt to silence or threaten. They left it to me to want to change.
And I want to change, even though what they’re asking of me is much more difficult than appeasing the other groups would be. This last group wants me to change my desires and my behavior, and that’s not at all easy. But, oddly enough, they also made me feel good about myself and my potential. They believed in me. That only makes me want to change all the more. They’re patient. They will wait.
Not so with the other two groups. They don’t care how I feel–in fact many of their tactics rely on making me feel badly about myself. They don’t care if I want to change or not. They simply want me out of the way. They don’t have the time or patience for persuasion. They’ll get what they want, and they’ll get it now, even if they have to burn down the world to get it.
I know who I’d rather cooperate with.
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