Heads in the sand

A recent Miss America contestant was publicly barbecued for advocating self-defense training for women to help prevent rape. The argument against her was that women shouldn’t have to worry about being raped, and so all the focus should be on teaching men not to rape. I do agree that women shouldn’t have to worry about being raped. And if there is anyone left out there teaching their boys to rape, they really should stop. Wouldn’t it be nice if that’s all we had to do? Just teach people not to be criminals? What a wonderful world it would be! What a glorious time to be free!

Now, for the world the rest of us live in, let’s take a harder look at the idea that we shouldn’t have to take precautions against crime because criminals shouldn’t be committing crime in the first place. Ashe Schow does just that for the Washington Examiner:

Feminists have been arguing that it’s “victim-blaming” to suggest steps that women can take to reduce the risk of being sexual assaulted. But what if that same logic were applied to all crime prevention tips?

It might go something like this:

Stop blaming the victims of theft

We should be teaching people not to steal, not telling people to lock their doors and windows.

Parking in well-lit areas, not hiding keys near the front door, avoiding websites that ask for your Social Security number — these are all just ways that we blame the victims of theft. And it needs to stop.

Stop blaming the victims of violent crimes

I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t jog down deserted streets at night. I shouldn’t have to change my normal behavior because someone wants to attack me or steal my iPod.

Telling me to be aware of my surroundings perpetuates “burglary culture” where it is somehow my fault that I got mugged.

Let’s not perpetuate “Head in the Sand” culture. Let’s also have the guts to look at what other “cultures” might be contributing to the problem. Like modern sexual culture, continually spreading the notion that women should be able to have as much sex as they want without consequence. It’s not blaming the victim to suggest that ideas such as that confuse not only young men, who might get the idea that every woman wants to have as much sex as they can get, but also young women, who might actually think they should be having as much sex as they can, and therefore put themselves in situations where they are at risk.

No, this is not blaming the victim. I’m not blaming young men and women for believing what they are continually indoctrinated with. I’m blaming the society that feeds them such garbage in the first place, while trying to duck all responsibility for advancing such dangerous notions. We perhaps shouldn’t fear “rape culture” so much as “sex obsession culture”.

Speaking of “rape culture” and teaching men not to rape, let’s take a moment to push for some gender equality while we’re at it. While we’re teaching men not to rape, let’s not forget to include women in those classes:

In short, men are raped by women at nearly the same rate women are raped by men.

According to a recent study from the University of Missouri, published by the American Psychological Association, male victims of sexual assault are often victimized by women: “A total of 43% of high school boys and young college men reported they had an unwanted sexual experience and of those, 95% said a female acquaintance was the aggressor, according to a study published online in the APA journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity.”

This shouldn’t be so surprising. Back in the old days, when talk of “rape” or “sexual assault” generally meant forcible penetration at the hands of a stranger, rape was unsurprisingly pretty much a male-committed crime.

But feminists pushed for a broader definition of rape, going beyond what Susan Estrich, in a very influential book, derisively called Real Rape, to encompass other forms of sexual coercion and intimidation. And so now the term “rape” as it is commonly used encompasses things like “date rape,” sex while a partner is intoxicated, sex without prior verbal consent and even — at Ohio State University, at least — sex where both partners consent, but for different reasons.

Oh, I’ve heard the counter-arguments here as the “experts” rush to explain why the rape of males is not that big a deal, why female rapists shouldn’t be treated the same as male rapists, etc. Odd thing is, much of it sounds suspiciously like the arguments men supposedly use to defend their rapes. So if we’re truly interested in gender equality and preventing unwanted sexual contact, let’s make sure we’re teaching everyone not to rape and stop singling out men. And perhaps we should look at equality in sentencing, too. Equal crime? Equal time.

And while we’re rushing to make college campuses “due process rights free zones”, let’s make sure we’re getting our information right. If you’re looking to increase the the female majority of college students, making it next to impossible for accussed men to defend themselves against sexual assault charges is certainly a great way to discourage men from going to college. But since women supposedly are seeking educated men to be partners and spouses, this might not be the best idea in the long run. Women are bemoaning the lack of good men these days, frustrated that so many men are “refusing to grow up and assume traditional responsibilities.” Perhaps they should look at the incentive system they’ve created. Or wait, no. That would be blaming the victim. Let’s just teach men not to think for themselves.