Dismissal

I saw someone’s meme-post on Facebook last night that made me think. Not in the way they wanted, however. They were trying to be funny, but I wasn’t laughing. The picture was of the back of Benedict Cumberbatch, with a caption stating something like, “I’m not being anti-social, you’re just an idiot.”

I remember the “Good Old Days” when people tried to be polite to everyone, not just the ones they like. Now you can be rude to anyone at all. All you have to do is find a reason to dismiss them. It doesn’t even have to be true, so long as you believe it enough to justify your rude treatment.

The problem is that nearly everyone finds it far too easy to decide everyone else is an idiot and can therefore treat them badly. We used to snicker to ourselves over Maxine cartoons, a little shocked at her subversive willingness to say what we might have only been thinking. Then somewhere along the road as she and others like her became more popular we seem to have forgotten that just because you can speak your thoughts aloud doesn’t mean that you should. Instead we blare them into the Internet, taking solace in the idea that we’re not really insulting anyone who doesn’t deserve it. After all, only an idiot will think we’re talking about them, right?

Even if that were true, what happens online doesn’t stay online. It bleeds over into our real lives. We see a store clerk and decide that because they didn’t respond exactly the way we thought they should that they must be an idiot. We can treat them rudely. And the clerk, in turn, sees our bad behavior and decides we are the idiot and responds in kind.

It’s amazing how much smarter we would all look if we practiced manners, patience, and basic civility.

It’s no wonder that celebrities get this overblown idea of their own self-importance and genius when we regularly hide behind them to put down other people. Quite frankly, I’ve heard some pretty questionable things come out of Benedict Cumberbatch’s mouth, so I’m not sure he’s really suitable to be the go-to guy for idiot-dismissal. None of us are. Only the foolish or oblivious think everything that comes from their mouths are gems and that they never do or say anything that might qualify as idiotic.

I’ll finish up with a little Sting. It’s somewhat telling that this song was released back in 1987. Thirty years on there are few “Englishmen” left in England, let alone New York.

If “manners maketh man” as someone said,
He’s the hero of the day.
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile.
Be yourself no matter what they say.

…

Modesty, propriety can lead to notoriety,
But you could end up as the only one.
Gentleness, sobriety are rare in this society.
At night a candle’s brighter than the sun.

Takes more than [meme pictures] to make a man.
Takes more than a [snapchat from your phone].
Confront your enemies, avoid them when you can.
A gentleman will walk but never run.

* Edits mine to make a point