Supposedly Feminism is all about equality. At least that’s what they keep telling me, even though that’s not always what I see. So as an MBA, let me give you feminists the benefit of my Marketing 501 class: consider your message. Focus in on what you’re all about, and stick to it. Don’t go off-message. Don’t get distracted.
Feminists, you’re getting off-message, and it’s hurting your cause.
Consider this from The Anchoress:
6) These umbrage-taking, offense-seeking people mewling about the travesty of shirts bearing sexy-women-with-guns tend to be the same sorts of people who believe that when Kim Kardashian props herself up as a plasticine-nude cocktail shelf, she has offered conclusive and empowering proof that mothers can be sexy, or something. For the sake of the world.
7) Somewhere between demands that men “speak no catcalls” and “wear no inappropriately geeky shirts” and assertions that a woman’s full-frontal/champagne glass nudity is seriously empowering, there is cognitive dissonance. A disconnect.
Read the whole thing.
I’ve expressed a similar sentiment before, as well. If you want people to follow the rules you have to make the rules clear and consistent. And if you really are interested in equality, you have to make the rules equal for everyone. And you have to make allowances for people like me who are clearly just too stupid to understand the different between “slut-shaming” and “slut-shirt-shaming”. If you can’t explain the difference perhaps it’s you who has the problem?
The saddest part about this outrage over a scientist’s shirt is that the tweet that supposedly launched it all implied that the shirt was the reason there are no women in science. Yet in the few images and videos I’ve seen of the project team (and including the televised apology by the scientist in question) there were women. If you look at the project team roster you will find several women. Are they equally represented? No. But take just one moment to actually think about this in terms of marketing. If you’re looking to increase the number of women in science, what would have been the better message in response to the success of the Rosetta mission:
- One of the lead scientists wore a sexist shirt made for him by a female friend!
- Look at this amazing accomplishment! Look at the contributions of many women as part of this team!
If equality is your goal, is persecuting a single man who likely never even met most of the team face to face going to advance that? Even if you’re right and the guy really is a pig, is calling him out online going to encourage today’s girls to want to be scientists? You’re calling major attention to the fact that there may be unpleasant people you have to work with if you go into science. Newsflash, ladies: There are unpleasant people in every line of work. And you know what? Often they are women, and from my own experience, one of them wearing a shirt covered with images of Chippendale Dancers would have been the least offensive thing about them.
The message you all sent with your outrage about Matt Taylor’s shirt, whether it was your intention or not, was this: you may encounter things that make you uncomfortable in the sciences, and you are too frail to deal with it. Let us see if we can run all those people out first, then we’ll give you the high-sign when it’s safe.
Contrast that to the latter message: Hey look! Women in science doing important things! Be part of a team that can land a robot on a comet from millions of miles away! Girls, consider a career in science!
Too bad you totally bombed that opportunity. You took what could have been a real positive, affirming message and instead advanced the message that feminists are an intolerant, unforgiving bunch of bullies who will hunt you down and make you pay for the slightest offense, no matter how unconscious or well-intentioned (Dr. Taylor’s female tattoo-artist friend is probably feeling completely miserable now, but do you care about her?). You made a man apologize and cry on international television. Congratulations. Slap another kill sticker on the fuselage and carry on, while denying that this is a war on men.
It’s all about the message, feminists. And you’re blowing it. You can’t expect men to play by your rules when your rules don’t make any sense: Thou shalt cheer for a naked Kim Kardasian balancing champagne glasses on her scientifically-enhanced posterior, and spread her image across the Internet, but never-ever-ever consider wearing a shirt showing women wearing slightly more clothing. But should a woman choose to wear a similar outfit of her own accord, thou shalt never criticize her!
Huh? Message, message, message! You’re sending the wrong one, except when you’re sending completely confusing and contradictory ones.
If Feminism, as a movement, wants to be taken seriously you need to work on your message. Right now you’re looking increasingly like the embodiment of a “De-motivational” poster I saw once: “COMMITTEES: Because no one of us is as stupid as all of us working together.”
I, too, would love a world where my daughter, should she choose to do so, will encounter no real barriers to her going as far in science as she is willing to work for. It would be nice if she never encounters people wearing clothing that makes her uncomfortable. But she’s in middle school, and that ship has already sailed. She’s not failing middle school. She’s not coming to me whining about how hostile an environment it is because of guys’ “Grand Theft Auto” t-shirts. When she complains it’s about the other girls and their skin-tight everythings, and how they put her down for not wearing similar clothing.
Considering how geeky my daughter is, if she were to go into science she’d feel right at home among all those geeky men, regardless of what they choose to wear. They’d talk Dr. Who, Lord of the Rings, and Avatar: The Last Airbender for hours while cranking out amazing work. And she would never have to worry about not being “cool” for not wearing jeggings, yoga pants, or skinny jeans.
But she is just not into math and science, unfortunately. It has nothing to do with the scientists’ shirts. It has to do with science and math, and the fact that she’s a very visual person who would rather spend her time cranking out fairly impressive artwork or planning elaborate settings for her writing. I encourage her to pay more attention to science and math, if for no other reason than to help her writing, but her interest is superficial, seldom moving beyond the conceptual. And I’m not going to force her, no matter how much more she could make starting as a computer programmer than a graphic designer.
Feminists, if you really care about the world you’re making for my daughter, please consider getting your message back on track. Matt Taylor’s shirt is not the enemy. If anything, your obsession with people’s clothing is.
The problem is, “Feminism” is NOT monolithic. There are those who simply want equal treatment. However, there is also a sizable and vocal segment of society that sees “feminism” as nothing more than a bludgeon to beat down any opposition to what they want, and who also view the others as “useful idiots.”
The fact that the word “feminist” was included in Time’s contest for words that should be banned from overuse–and won, if I recall correctly–indicates that these women and their apologists are in the minority. But then again, so are most bullies (though they yelled loud enough to get the word removed and an apology from Time). If real feminists want to be taken at all seriously in the future they need to start standing up to the bullies doing nastiness in their name.
True.
Feminism achieved all of its stated goals – equal rights & opportunities – years ago. These days, the hard-liners seem to be aiming for a misandric ‘utopia’ where women can do no wrong and men can do whatever they’re told, and the “coffee-shop feminists” are swallowing the nonsense the hard-liners make up to justify their positions. You don’t fight sexism by accusing every second person on the planet of being sexist.