Things we’re learning from Pokemon

Some time last year my boys got into Pokemon. Really got into Pokemon. It’s probably about the time they discovered there is a Pokemon Club at the local library. I used to play a little years ago, and while both of my boys are into it, they don’t always want to play one another, so I took it up again to help keep the peace and to provide my older son a little competition to help refine his decks. And so it was also natural that I would be the one to take them to the club every Saturday.

I have a love-hate relationship with the Pokemon Club. The organizer is a cool guy, and there are some cool kids there. But there are a LOT of kids there, and they’re not quiet. It’s the sort of place designed to suck all the energy out of any adult that dares enter the room. I have fun making deals and collecting the cards, and take great care not to take advantage of the younger kids (the teens and young adults I mostly worry about not being taken advantage of). I also note the newcomers, semi-clueless kids, and baffled parents and do what I can to help out, sometimes making deals that are absolutely terrible for me just to make sure the kids have a good experience.

But the real fun is watching the effect this has had on my own boys. They’ve been learning a few things through all of this, which makes it all worthwhile as a parent.

1. Don’t Be That Guy – Every week on the drive home I hear my boys discussing the various trades they’ve made and the various kids they’ve traded with. Invariably they’ll complain about some kid or another who is not pleasant to trade with. These range from the kids who, if you don’t have EX’s (don’t ask if you don’t know) will blow you off, to the kids who try to dictate up front both what they’ll give you and what you will give them and will not accept any counter-offers.

My kids observe, and they learn. They don’t trade that way. They don’t treat other kids that way. They’ve learned from watching others how the “good traders” behave. I assume this will carry over into other areas of life. Hopefully they will learn to pay attention to the kids around them and decide who to emulate and who not to.

2. Sportsmanship counts – They don’t just trade cards at the club. They play games against one another. They have tournaments. I worry about this a bit, because at home my kids are not always good sports about winning or losing. But my son participated in a recent tournament and handled himself quite well. In fact he held is cool when I was about to strangle his opponent (a much older kid) who capitalized on a mistake my son made and won the game (this is not my beef–losing is part of life), then proceeded to lecture my son about the mistake. It was not a kindly “did you see what happened there?” sort of lecture, either. My son took it in stride, and I know he won’t do that to anyone himself.

3. Planning and goals – My boys are not content to just collect cards and make the best deck they can with them. They actually plan out what decks they want to build and then set out to obtain the cards they want. They enjoy coming back from the club each week and tracking their progress against their list of cards they need. They’re learning to think long-term, and to stay focused on their goals.

4. Accepting limitations – Unfortunately Pokemon is a game where money counts. There are kids who have money, either that they earn themselves or their parents fork over, and they tend to have all the coolest cards. And unfortunately those with the most cool cards tend to win most. This hasn’t dampened their enthusiasm much, oddly enough. They seem to accept that neither they nor I can/will spend that much money on a game, and they do the best they can with what they have to work with.

5. The Art of the Deal – My older son has been learning how to put together some impressive deals. He’s learned to be a facilitator, finding out what people are looking for and making connections to get it. Several times he’s come to me looking for lynch-pin cards that if he can get hold of he can complete a multi-person deal that will end with his getting the card he’s looking for. I admit I get a little frustrated with some of his friends who keep changing their minds over what deals they will accept, but he’s undaunted. He figures out how to put it all together, does the legwork, and comes home with the card he wants.

6. Looking Out For Family – This has been especially rewarding to see. My kids (and I) keep our eyes out for cards each other needs and pick them up if we can. Sometimes this is just to facilitate the inevitable second round of trading among ourselves after we get home from the club, but often it’s just because they know one of us is looking for that card and they have an opportunity to get it.

There are a few more lesson being learned here, but being learned by me:

7. Sit Down, Shut Up and Let Them Do Their Thing – It’s not easy to do, but I’m trying to let them learn on their own, sometimes the hard way. I don’t always think the deals they make are the best for them, but I’ve learned that, in the long run, if they’re happy then shut up and don’t spoil it. If I see some problems inherent in what they’re doing I’ll sometimes point it out, but I leave them to make their own decision. Very few of the problems that come up are insurmountable. Bad trades can be overcome by better trading in the future, but there will always be regrets. It’s just part of life.

8. Acknowledge their expertise – They have a lot more time to think about and study Pokemon than I do. They generally do more trades than I do. I’ve learned to leverage that. I’ll consult them on whether or not a trade someone is offering me is fair. I’ll ask them for suggestions on cards to collect for my decks. When they come up with a particularly vicious deck combination I’ll let them know (though I confess I could do better at acknowledging it without whining). They know this stuff, and I believe it’s important to recognize that they know it. Yes, I may wish they’d put this much effort into other things they’re supposed to be doing, but I know I wasn’t any different at their age. Everyone likes to know that other people know that they know, you know?

I’ll admit that even when I played it years ago I never took Pokemon that seriously. I might still not take it seriously if I hadn’t begun exploring it with my boys. Yes, it can be a fun game, but the benefits that have come from joining the club have been surprising to me. There’s been some valuable life experience for all of us. Eventually they’ll grow out of their interest in Pokemon, and that’ll be fine. But in the mean time, I’m looking forward to seeing them continue to learn.