Chances to shine

I’m a pessimist and a worrier–or at least that’s probably how it looks to people as I come to terms with a large amount of input. Probably one of the worst things you can do is throw me into a new project under pressure if you want me to be coherent right away. I need time to take it all in, work through it, and come up with a way forward. But at first my anxiety levels spike as my mind races off looking for all the things that can go wrong, or why the schedule I’m forced into is unrealistic.

One of my abilities is to make order of chaos. But I go about it in my own way, and it’s probably not a good idea to look too closely at the front end of the process. It’s like making sausage. Eventually I’ll present you with nice, orderly links flowing smoothly from the machine. But leave me alone before then unless you want to see something ugly.

I definitely need to learn how to be less ugly in those earlier stages. It’s probably the closest I come to an “artist’s temperament”, and it probably doesn’t fly well in my line of work. I don’t do it intentionally, but at those points I tend to think aloud too much if given the chance. Probably best to lock me in a room and not let me come out until I can state my concerns and questions calmly and rationally.

As you’ve probably guessed, I’ve just been given one such project, and I’m feeling pretty stressed. There are up-sides to it, of course. This will probably be about as high-profile as I’ve been. Do well on this, and it could lead to all sorts of opportunities down the road. (Of course the flip-side is what happens if I screw it up.) I’m hoping that once I get out of the “what goes into the sausage” stage this is going to be the most fun I’ve had yet in this job and I’ll be able to really show them what I can do.

But for the next month, at least, posting may be more sporadic than usual. Please be patient…all four of you.