Is this who we are?

I’m getting increasingly frustrated with my Facebook feed. I’m trying to behave myself and not express beliefs that might cause others offense, and if I do I try to do so in a thoughtful manner in a longer post that can capture, perhaps, the nuances of my thoughts. But by accident or intent, I’m not getting the same consideration from some others.

I suspect it’s mostly by accident. They just don’t remember that not everyone they have friended agrees with them. They post meme pics and cartoons thinking that they’re high-fiving their tribe rather than face-slapping people who might feel differently. Or, I suppose, they’re simply responding to others on their feed who are being ornery and offensive and may indeed have some come-uppence coming, but don’t realize that not everyone can see what set them off in the first place. To them this is coming out of nowhere, unprovoked and unwarranted, and so their friend’s push-back is seen as coming out of nowhere, unprovoked, and unwarranted.

Is this who we are? Is this who we want to be? I don’t think most of us start out our social media time thinking, “Who can I smack around today?” Very few of us, popular meme pics aside, would set fire to our house to kill a spider. We wouldn’t nuke Ramadi, killing the entire population of the city, just to remove ISIS.

And yet something about social media makes it easy–even desirable–to lash out at those we supposedly call our friends. I’d like to think we don’t do it consciously.

I know this is not the first time I’ve complained about this. But I’m ready to do something about it. I struggle with being the intolerant guy who just doesn’t want to hear anything contrary, but I’ve decided I wouldn’t have to do this if it weren’t for intolerant, insensitive people who are turning what should be a pleasant experience into something to dread. If they can’t be bothered to take the time to state their case calmly and rationally–and in their own words instead of borrowing from everywhere else–I don’t think I owe them any of my limited time.

This is not a denunciation of everyone. There are many who are fairly careful with what you post, or who in various ways have made it clear you don’t lump me in with the same crowd you’re attacking with your posts. I tend to be more patient with those people. And certainly there are people who regularly do their part to make my feed a happy place. For that I thank you. You’ll be getting more of my attention in the future as I weed out the rest.

I don’t want to give up social media. I do get something from it–I just don’t want it to be heartburn. And by all means, if you do catch me being insensitive in something I’ve posted, feel free to politely bring it to my attention. I don’t want to be a person anyone feels they need to block.