Trigger warning: Sorry, more religion.
A friend of mine forwarded a post from someone that made him rather sad. I agree. The post was sad on many levels. I really feel sorry for the original poster, because he (or she, but I’ll use “he” by default) clearly went to a lot of effort only to wind up right back where he might have had he understood God the way I do. Certainly I can understand where this guy is coming from, but…well, it’s as if he’s talking about someone else entirely, because my experience with God has been so different.
Let me back up a bit. I won’t reprint the post here because I don’t know how close a friend this was to my friend and I don’t want to make things awkward for my friend. But I will paraphrase. This person supposedly read the Bible through twice, and then went through it verse by verse, using Hebrew and Greek lexicons and a concordance to study each word’s original meaning. Because of this he decided that God was made up by men, and represents all the ugliest traits of mankind. He feels God is a “monster” who only loves his children if they love him first, and exactly the way he demands.
This person has now left Christianity and feels he has become a much better father than God, because he has learned to love without possession, as he puts it. He, unlike God, is not “silent and absent” in the lives of his children, and he doesn’t torture them if they don’t reciprocate his love. He’s proud of his keeping his children away from the “abusive and controlling religion” of Christianity.
Like I said, I feel sorry for this guy. I’m not sure which form of Christianity he was raised with, but there are some out there who really do lean the direction he indicates. If he grew up with one of those, I can understand why he would be so bitter. But not all Christian religions are the same. I’m pretty sure he could find several that mirror his beliefs more closely. I personally belong to one that, with few variances, pretty much preaches the type of parenting he has “discovered”. This doesn’t mean that we’re all excellent parents. Being consistent and perfect at anything is pretty difficult, and I suspect that were we to examine this person’s parenting he didn’t practice what he preaches all the time, either, unless what he preaches is such a laissez-faire style of parenting that to be a perfect parent you do as little as possible beyond providing for your children’s basic needs.
But I have to say right now that if this person’s study of the Bible revealed a monstrous God on every page, he wasn’t really approaching his study with an open mind. More-over, I’d say he likely skipped most of the New Testament. But usually, in my experience, when people outline their study approach in such detail it’s usually in an attempt to establish their own credibility, to be able to claim “I know it better than you do!” I’ve encountered quite a few such people through the years. Some of them are sincere, but most are laying the claim out there and daring anyone to prove them wrong, hoping to win the argument without a shot.
It’s similar to many of the people I encountered as a missionary for my church who, when we tried to tell them about the Book of Mormon–additional scripture we use alongside the Bible–they would claim that they had read it and knew all about it. If we were feeling particularly mischievous that day we’d usually follow up with something like, “So what did you think about the part where Joseph Smith was riding the white buffalo?” (It’s nowhere in the book, which is an ancient record that Joseph Smith only translated. He does not appear anywhere in the main text. Neither do buffalos of any color.) I don’t think I ever had someone call our bluff on that; most would claim they’d read that part and found it interesting.
But even if this gentleman is sincere and really did go through the entire Bible line by line, I believe he still missed the point. The New Testament, which most Christian religions place much greater emphasis on than the Old Testament, and rightly so, is not filled with vengeance and torture of those who don’t immediately do as they’re told. Yes, Christ and his apostles warn of the final judgment, but during his ministry Christ was not one to condemn, because those people were still alive and still had time to change their lives. Christ, also, was not an amalgamation of all of man’s worst traits, as this man claims, and I’d be interested in knowing what references he found that support that claim. I’ve yet to find anyone else who is even vaguely familiar with Christ’s teachings who doesn’t believe mankind would be much better off if they could live up to what Christ taught and demonstrated.
You want to talk about loving without possession? Try sacrificing yourself for the sins of all mankind, whether they choose to accept that gift or not. That is ultimate love, and I’m baffled that this person seemed to completely miss that.
But enough about that. Ultimately I get the feeling that this was someone who has been embarrassed by the secular world over his former religion an has been looking for an excuse to bail. I suspect his study of the Bible was motivated by a desire to excuse his loss of faith, not by a desire to maintain it, and as with most things, you tend to find what you’re looking for. I’m glad that on his own he was able to find sufficient truth to undo the incorrect interpretations he had learned previously about parenting. I hope he is truly being the father he claims, and is not just saying that in an attempt to further justify his departure from and prejudice against Christianity.
I’d rather turn to what I have found in my life in Christianity. First of all, I have found God to be an incredibly loving and patient father. But then I do have some advantages over this other fellow. My religion has additional scripture that both reinforces and clarifies the Bible. We also have continuing revelation today that provides even greater clarity and scope, and provides more specific application pertinent to our day. So I admit my perspective is likely to be significantly different from most Christian religions.
I find it a little amusing that this fellow feels he could teach God a thing or two about parenting. It’s like a little boy living in the big house his father has provided who one day finds some blankets, pulls some chairs together and builds himself a fort, then goes and grabs some snacks from the pantry and crawls into his fort, pleased with what a wonderful provider he is, and not realizing that beyond a little effort, he has provided none of it. God organized everything we can detect for our benefit. What little existence we are able to scratch out from that on our own is admirable, but is only part of what God intended all along. If he wanted us to not have to work for our sustenance he could provide it all, instantly.
Similarly, I could understand why people get so frustrated with a god who ends or allows to be ended the lives of those who are not doing what he asks–if this life is all there is. If this life was God’s attempt to “raise us children”, such punishments would indeed be harsh. But it’s not. We, as distinct intellectual entities, have existed forever, and we’ve been with God for measureless time being raised up to be who we are now. We had progressed as far as we could in our limited state, and so in order to unlock continued progression there had to be a few things happen. We had to gain physical bodies like God has, for one. And we had to prove ourselves capable of handling any further progress.
That’s what this life is. It’s not our “formative childhood years”. It’s not even our school years. It’s the final exam for everything that went before it. So when something happens to end our life, be it age, disease, natural disasters, conflict with other children, or God himself calling down punishment, it’s not really “wiping us out” so much as declaring that, for us, the test is over. Put down your pencil and bring your test booklet up to God’s desk now, please.
As for God treating us like possessions, if that were true this life would be vastly different. If God wanted us all to do exactly what he wants without exception he could do it. But that’s not what he wanted. That’s what Lucifer wanted. Satan was afraid of the idea of allowing us all to come to earth and be tested based on our own free will and the choices we make. That would allow for a lot of God’s children going contrary to God’s will and not passing the test. His plan was to force us all to do the right things. But that wasn’t what God had in mind. The ability for each of us to choose for ourselves is sacred to him. That’s why Christ stepped forward and offered to not only support God’s plan, but to be the sacrifice that would introduce repentance into the equation, making us subject to both justice and mercy.
Satan hated that idea so much that he took a third of God’s children and convinced them to follow him instead of God. And God, valuing so highly our right to choose for ourselves, let them go. And he loves them all still, even as they work tirelessly to bring ruin on the rest of his children.
Now there is where I suspect the gentleman writing the post and I disagree. He perhaps feels that if God truly loved all of us he wouldn’t insist on there being consequences for disobedience. I know that’s not a popular concept these days. People are looking for every possible way to escape consequences, not accept them. Now, I hope for his children’s sake, this man hasn’t taken the concept of “their lives are their own” to mean not giving them any rules or consequences during their formative years. That is not love, it’s fear. Love is knowing that there are some things that are definite and certain enough that they must be taught, even if it means invoking punishments. Fear is not wanting to face the natural backlash that occurs when imperfect, immature beings (ie. children) don’t like that some actions have negative consequences. It’s the avoidance of short-term inconvenience with no consideration for long-term results. It’s not love. And I suspect on some level that gentleman understands this.
But as it is, in this final exam we’re currently undergoing, God is so loving and just that he realizes that not everyone had the same opportunity to learn all the right answers. He’s not, for example, putting some of his children in the “slow class” simply because they were born in Africa during the dark ages and never even heard of Christ, let alone knew about the gospel. No, he will look at what things that person was taught to be right and wrong and measure against how well they lived up to what they knew. Every other physical requirement, such as baptism, that was not available to his children when on earth, will be available to them at some point. What matters most is how well they did in the circumstances in which they lived.
Also, because he is loving, God tends to give his children only as much as they can handle. The Old Testament, which the gentleman feels is so full of monstrosities, is evidence of that. God gave biblical Israel what they could handle. They couldn’t seem to bear a “higher law” such as Christ gave in the New Testament, and so God gave them a simpler law: Here’s what you are to obey, and here are the consequences when you disobey, and yes, they’re harsh, because you don’t seem to pay attention otherwise. As it is, I’ll still be pretty darn patient, if you really look at it, and I’ll continue to keep my part of the covenant I made with you, even when you forget to do so. (There really are different, valid ways to view the Old Testament. You find what you look for.)
Now any decent parent knows that each child is different, and you have to approach each one differently. What rules and consequences you have for one doesn’t always work with others. Some are really good in some areas and can be given some leeway, while others you have to watch like a hawk. Is it really so hard to imagine God could know us all at least as well and adjust accordingly?
But oddly enough, in his level of “hands-on” effort it seems like God can’t win. If he immediately visits disobedience with fire and brimstone he’s a terrible monster. If he doesn’t, people take that as a sign that there is no God. For every person like the poster who thinks god is a vindictive monster, there are dozens who wonder why God doesn’t stop all the bad people from doing bad things. But if God is such a monster, I can’t help but notice a distinct lack of smiting going on these days. And if God is asleep at the wheel, I can’t help but wonder if those critics would feel the same if he continually stepped in to stop them from doing bad things.
The obvious answer is that God, no matter what some of us think, is a much better parent than we are, and much, much wiser. He’s not prepared to invalidate the results of the final exam just to please a few people who are really just wanting to find excuses not to believe in or follow him. God’s plan–and the rules he lives by–are critical, and he walks a very delicate line between justice and mercy. Out of love for all of his children he will not suspend the rules (for us or for him) just to benefit some of his children.
It should be noted, too, that God is not us. Because of his commitment to maintaining our right to choose it’s rather unfair to hold the stuff we do against him. As I’ve noted before, there are far too many Christians who are not living up to what they claim to believe. There are far too many Christian religions misinterpreting what God has laid out. But is that really so surprising? There are very few people of any believe (or lack thereof) who even come close to living up to how they believe we should live. That’s not God’s fault.
I know I certainly don’t live up to everything I know I should be or do. And I, for one, am glad the plan he laid out gives me time and opportunity to change and improve. The difference I see is that the God I know is patiently helping me improve. If that improvement is slow (ie. glacial) it’s my failing, not his. What I see is that God is standing by, waiting to reward me when I get something right rather than rushing in to punish me when I screw up. What I see is a God who loves me far more deeply than I love myself–or am even capable of loving. What happens during this “final exam” is only a miniscule part of what he has in store for me and all others who are trying to follow him.
It hurts when others don’t see it. It bothers me when people denounce God simply because he doesn’t do things the way they would do it. I can only imagine how He feels. But however much it must hurt, he still loves them without condition. But love and rewards are not the same. Would it really be love if he rewarded everyone equally, no matter how good or bad they were? That would be more like nonchalance. He loves all of us enough to reward us according to what we choose for ourselves. We don’t understand it all yet, but when all the grades are tallied and assigned I believe we’ll all be satisfied with our grade and subsequent reward. We just won’t all be given the same reward. And as any parent can tell you, finding a reward that all children value equally is a lot harder than you’d think.
God knows, though. And he loves us enough to set up all of this to help us know what reward we want most.
Very well written!